Me wearing a t-shirt - last night
Frankly, I thought if I got any response from putting this picture out on my Twitter and Facebook accounts, it would be about the slogan on the shirt. Or perhaps a comment about how I should change my hairstyle. While some did focus on the 'I Like Girls Who Like Girls', no-one focused on my hair. Until now. The really weird thing is, a very small minority of people commented on... my arms.
Now look, before I shoot anyone down here, let me explain that I am sure their opinion was based on my wellbeing and with care towards me. That said, to suggest I look unhealthy and that I have lost too much weight was, like I said earlier, a bit bizarre to me. The focus on my arms suggested that I was now underweight, because I have thin arms. I have thin arms not because I have an eating disorder, but because I am not some muscle bound bloke. I never have been. It is a case of 2+2=5. People like to strengthen their argument with anything they can. Obviously anyone with a weight-loss issue, arms and legs can be a giveaway.
However what I find most amusing out of this, is if you draw your eyes over the picture above, and move them from my arms to the lower middle of the photograph, you can see the curvature of my stomach with the creases in the t-shirt. This of course does not help strengthen their point, so remains unnoticed. In addition, only a few weeks ago I posted this blog which no-one considered I looked unhealthy in. Actually quite the opposite. The dramatic difference between the photo from January and from July was noticeable and positive. If you look at my arms in those photos, my left one looks "fatter" on the July photo, while the right one looks "thinner". This of course has a lot to do with the lighting in those pictures.
To allay fears of my great demise and general health worries, I popped over to the NHS website to check out my Body Mass Index (BMI). I was pleasantly surprised with the result:
My BMI - last night
The BMI was unsurprisingly brushed aside by those who already convinced that I am not healthy. This is relatively easy to do with BMI as if you have a lot of muscle, it is pretty useless as a guide. However, let me reiterate, I have never been a muscular guy. While I cannot say that BMI is an exact science, I'm willing to say that it is probably more suitable to my build than if I had been "pumping iron" like some gym monkey.
It wasn't until after I posted that BMI detail that 'The Fear' struck. See, I'm not a professional medical person. Maybe I do have some sort of disorder. It got me thinking. I think most people get a bit freaked out by anything medical because we tend not to fully understand it. The Fear got me thinking. The Fear got me paranoid. This is the danger of laymen's opinions. I don't think for a second it was predetermined. I do believe their had my best interests at heart but just went about it the wrong way. As today has went on, The Fear has withdrawn, between comments from others who have went through similar when losing weight and my common-sense kicking in that I do not have an eating disorder. My parents would notice if I did, my family would see it and my friends who physically see me beyond photos online would. On top of all that, The Fear may have played with my mind but I didn't believe for a moment that I am ill. In fact, I was just thinking the other day it has been ages since I had a migraine. Obviously my healthier lifestyle is having an impact in that area too.
At the end of the day, what really matters is as long as I'm healthy then it doesn't really matter if some people think I could do with a bit more meat on my bones. I am a short guy at 5'4" and that has an influence on how my ideal weight compares to say a guy at 6'2" overall. Will I ever gain visible muscle? Who knows? Who cares?! The Fear could have taken over me and undone all my hard work over the past four months. It didn't because I'm lucky to have friends and family who support me, compliment me and give me reason to be proud of my achievements so far. As was pointed out to me earlier today, some of the people who suggest you're "too thin" are usually the people who struggle with their own weight-loss, usually due to a lack of willpower crossed with apathy and bone-idleness.
I appreciate the concern, the sentiment but frankly it was negativity that I could have done without. Anyone who has followed my story, even just the Weigh-In Wednesdays will know that I have never had a huge loss week-on-week. I think there was one time right at the start when I lost 5 pound. That was when the changes kicked in with what I was and was not eating, and getting more exercise. Ever since then it was been on average around one or two pound per week. I wouldn't say that was unhealthy. I would say that is very good. I would go as far to say it is something for me to be proud of. I also think if there was any truth in what this minority said last night, it would have been pointed out to me long before now, on this blog and in person. I am open to criticism, advice, whatever, otherwise I wouldn't be doing this on such a public level. When you put yourself out there, there is always a chance The Fear is going to get you. Remember, if you're doing a similar thing to what I am, and you are concerned, go seek the advice of a professional medical person. I am not concerned about myself. Why? Simple, I confidently believe I look and feel better than I have in a long time. I know I'm heading in the right direction, and now I know I am Fearless.
3 comments:
No offense but I think you've put way too much thought into this! Speaking as one of the people who has apparently offended you so greatly, I wouldn't even say I was concerned when I made my original comment - I merely meant the photo you had posted happened to make you look particularly thin, and wondered idly how much more weight you were planning to lose. Not because I think you have an eating disorder (how ridiculous!) but out of simple curiosity. I think your assertion that anyone who did express genuine concern would be doing so out of - what, spite? - because they themselves are too lazy and unmotivated to lose weight is potentially quite offensive.
Sorry Jen, but not sure where I said I was offended. I think you'll find I actually made the point, more than once, that I believed these comments were coming from a good place... but then for you to say you weren't concerned when you made your original comment probably underlines my point about how it could have been handled better.
It is worth noting you were part of a small minority, so not all the comments in this blog are directed at you. As you know, we discussed this on my Facebook page.
Also, and most importantly, at no point did I say anyone with genuine concern would be expressing it because they have problems losing weight. I said some people who say "you're too thin" do it out of their own shortcomings. The important word there is "some". I never said all.
I just find it interesting that you focus on the negatives and take quite a defensive stance. And as pedantic as you want to get, yes you did say 'some', I can read, but you have to understand that people recognise themselves in this blog and will naturally wonder if you are including them in that group. I didn't see any comments on your post which, if I had received them myself, would have had any negatige connotations for me at all. I don't know, maybe it's just because I'm female and we are so inundated with constant chatter and opinion about our weight that we can desensitise ourselves and just treat it like casual small talk.
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